Guilty admission time. I did not run at all this past weekend and thus missed out on an easy 3 mile run on Saturday and a long 5 mile run on Sunday, so I was anxious to get back on schedule this week. Yesterday was a rest day in the training plan and I stuck to that, even though I rested the previous 3 days.
Today's run was an easy 3-4 miles and as I set out, I was still undecided about whether I would go short or long. As I started out, my legs felt like anvils. I can't remember a time when my legs felt so heavy on a run and it did a number on my morale. About .5 mile in, I started to walk and I was so mad at myself. Why on earth was I stopping to walk? So I started to run again, only to stop a few seconds later because of how my legs felt. I walked much of the next mile and a half save for a few very brief running breaks. At that point, since I was walking, I decided that I could at least do four miles. The entire time I was walking, I didn't have the most positive thoughts or words for myself. I started questioning whether I could do a half again this fall and I started wondering how I would get through Napa in September. It was not a pretty couple of miles for my self-confidence.
At mile 2, I decided to pick up the pace so I could get back to my car and be done with the run, so I started running again. My legs still didn't feel great, but I kept going and ran the last two miles back to my car. The last .10 of a mile, I decided to give it my all and I sprinted back to my car. I felt pretty damn good when I got to my car; I was tired, sure, but I was also sweaty and my adrenaline was pumping and it was just what I needed to boost my confidence. It was a great reminder that I can do all of the things I set my mind to. It was also a gentle reminder that I am not where I need to be physically or mentally, so I need to step up my game and that's ok. Sometimes I just need a little push and tonight's run was the push I needed.
It's time to focus and get back in the game; it's time to start pushing myself mentally and physically; it's time to prove to myself that I can.
"Being challenged in life is inevitable. Being defeated is optional."
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