Tuesday, July 8, 2014

My thought process during a run

Guilty admission time. I did not run at all this past weekend and thus missed out on an easy 3 mile run on Saturday and a long 5 mile run on Sunday, so I was anxious to get back on schedule this week.  Yesterday was a rest day in the training plan and I stuck to that, even though I rested the previous 3 days.

Today's run was an easy 3-4 miles and as I set out, I was still undecided about whether I would go short or long.  As I started out, my legs felt like anvils.  I can't remember a time when my legs felt so heavy on a run and it did a number on my morale.  About .5 mile in, I started to walk and I was so mad at myself.  Why on earth was I stopping to walk?  So I started to run again, only to stop a few seconds later because of how my legs felt.  I walked much of the next mile and a half save for a few very brief running breaks.  At that point, since I was walking, I decided that I could at least do four miles.  The entire time I was walking, I didn't have the most positive thoughts or words for myself.  I started questioning whether I could do a half again this fall and I started wondering how I would get through Napa in September.  It was not a pretty couple of miles for my self-confidence.

At mile 2, I decided to pick up the pace so I could get back to my car and be done with the run, so I started running again.  My legs still didn't feel great, but I kept going and ran the last two miles back to my car.  The last .10 of a mile, I decided to give it my all and I sprinted back to my car.  I felt pretty damn good when I got to my car; I was tired, sure, but I was also sweaty and my adrenaline was pumping and it was just what I needed to boost my confidence.  It was a great reminder that I can do all of the things I set my mind to.  It was also a gentle reminder that I am not where I need to be physically or mentally, so I need to step up my game and that's ok.  Sometimes I just need a little push and tonight's run was the push I needed.

It's time to focus and get back in the game; it's time to start pushing myself mentally and physically; it's time to prove to myself that I can.

"Being challenged in life is inevitable. Being defeated is optional."