Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Pre-10K nerves

I have not been feeling like myself lately and I wish I knew why.  It's kind of like an out-of-body experience.  Just when I thought I was getting back in my healthy groove, I've had my energy zapped.  I fell asleep again super early (as in barely made it to 8 p.m.) last night and while it felt good to get some sleep, I had a lot I wanted to accomplish last night.  I didn't get a run in yesterday, either, which I was bummed about.

So, today, I decided I was going to run come hell or high water, much to the chagrin of my co-workers who asked me to go to lunch with them.  (Sorry again, friends, I needed to run desperately and not eat fried food, which let's face it, I totally would have caved and ordered chicken fingers at Tom's.)  I knew lunch was going to be my only opportunity to run, so I went and was proud of my will-power in resisting going out to lunch.

My run today was victorious on one hand and disconcerting on the other.  It was victorious because my average pace was 10:41/mile.  My first mile was 10:22 (!) and my second was in the upper 10's.  I am really thrilled with this increase in mileage, but I'm wondering about its validity.  When I ran on September 21st, my average pace was 12:19, so I've either had a fantastic improvement in my mileage or my Nike+ app has lost her mind.  Maybe it is because the weather is much more pleasant?  Or again, maybe my app needs to be re-set or something.  I'm just wondering:  is it possible to improve one's pace so drastically?

My run was not so fabulous because it was a struggle to eek out 2 miles, much like last week.  I changed up my route today and went in the opposite direction of my normal track around the lake.  I thought I would try to tackle a massive hill in the park, because I'm sure I will have hills in my 10K and I've been mostly training on a flat trail.  I got halfway up said massive hill and didn't feel right, so I turned around and went downhill.  I finished my loop around the lake and could not wait until my app told me I had completed my second mile.  The second she said "2 miles completed," I stopped running even though I wasn't quite back to my car yet.

I just felt off throughout my run today; I didn't feel like me.  I've come to the conclusion that it's one of several reasons (or a combination of each).
  1. I'm trying to fight off whatever bug has befallen my boys (both Nick and Jack have some sort of ick and I'm really hoping to avoid both illnesses.  A cold and the stomach flu have plagued our house of late, oh joy.) and maybe that is impacting my ability to run well.
  2. I have set myself back by not running consistently for the past two weeks.  I went from running 3 times a week to once a week.  Is it possible to fall out of shape so quickly?
  3. If my pace has truly increased so much, maybe it is too much for me right now and I should slow down.  It really, truly does not feel like I am running that fast, so I fear I would have a hard time "slowing" down, but maybe I need to. 
Needless to say, I am incredibly nervous about my 10K next weekend.  If I can barely make it through 2 miles today, how the hell am I going to make it through 6 in a week and a half?  I am having self-doubt, so pardon me while I wallow for a bit.  I know that today's sub-par run should fuel me to get my butt in gear over the next 12 days and get prepped for the race as best I can, but I just need a moment to get myself together.  It wouldn't be the end of the world if I walked some of the 10K, but I really, really want to prove to myself that I can run the entire race.  I know I can, so I just need to get in the right head space.  

If anyone has any words of wisdom to share, I'm all ears!

The below quote made me feel marginally better about today's run.  If nothing else, it made me stronger. :) 

"Some runs make you feel invincible.  Some runs make you feel defeated.  Every run makes you stronger."